Need advice about geting my mother to accept me for being Gay.?

When my mom found out it was in an argument over me talking to my first bf that she didnt even know about. Well she went through all my stuff, computer files, room, books, journals, and even took my phone and broke it. Then she sent me to counseling and it helped her accept me more. But she knows i sneak around to see guys and stuff. But she doesnt want me to and she doesnt like me to have friends who support me. I mean i do and always will live my own life. I try and follow her rules and obey what she says to make it easier on myself. But the other night i was talking to a friend about one of my ex's and she over heard some info I guess cause that morning she was pissed off and then started ranting about me talking to 17-20 yr olds...and the guy is only 18 and still a senior in high school and i have talked to him for years now. I am not seeing a psychatrist after seeing 3 other counselors... They have all said she has the problem now me. I dont know what to do. PLEASE GIVE ADVICE!!Need advice about geting my mother to accept me for being Gay.?
Suggest PFLAG for her. She could get information and referances to counselors to help her relax.





She also may be simply scared for your safety. Anal sex is dangerous thing when not done properly and with protection, even with protection, there is still risk involved. This knowledge may be making her nervous about you being gay and in turn it comes out as anger.


She does need some counseling, that much is certain.


Be kind to her, let her know you appreciate her concern but you will always be yourself. Try to help her confront her fears by attempting a civil discussion with her, one on one.





If she's not open to it. Really push for counseling and PFLAG.


If she resists, there's not much you can do.Need advice about geting my mother to accept me for being Gay.?
ever see the movie ';throw momma off the train';, yea, do that. or in front of a train, that works too.
As I had put it to my parents, I was not trying to get them to accept the lifestyle because most parents won't or can't, but just accept me for who I am and that is their daughter, and just because I choose to love differently then them, I am no different then them. I was still the same little girl that they brought into this world. Good Luck, and know there are many others that have been through this and you will be a survivor , all of you!
Depending how old you are, get the hell out of that house.
say hey mamma go away ugly mamma! fly away! (if she start yelling fake runnign and crying then crash into the wall! it will make her feel so bad hating you being gay!)
Your mother will have to sort through her own issues about your homosexuality. All you can do is be patient. I don't expect you to change who you are. But you need to respect some boundaries with her. Think of it this way- If you were Republican and she were Democrat, you would probably agree to not talk politics. Until she can sort through her own stuff, try to be aware of how she is feeling. I want you to know that I recognize you are in a very difficult situation.One that calls for a lot more maturity than most 17 year olds have. But If you want this transition to go smoothly, just bide your time and respect that this is hard for her too. You will most likely get past this, but if not, it really is her issue not yours. You are not defective just because you are gay.
Wow, I don't envy your position at all! I'm sorry your mother is treating you this way. It's totally unfair that she would dictate who you are and who she expects you to be.





The others have a point when they suggest PFLAG or other counsellors who may be able to 'help your mom'. I believe that may be the key here. You obviously have your 's'h'i't' together, perhaps it's time she got hers together.





Parents have a difficult time accepting their child's fate. My mother told me those exact words. She worried with this disease called HIV/AIDS that I would succumb to it, and that it would be her fault because she didn't stop me. WRONG!





To this day, we are able to talk about many things. She's come around a bit, by meeting my boyfriend, coming to gay functions and offering a bit more support than she ever had before. She realized in order to love me, she had to accept me. Accept who I am - her son; not what I am - her gay son.





I strongly believe, given time, your mother may do the same.





Good luck honey!
PFLAG will help her with this.... I'm lucky to have a mom that is very understanding and i dont have to hide who i am
This is exactly why I strongly advise NOT coming out to parents until you are on your own...no one listens until the sh*t hits the fan, and it has hit.


Assure her that you are very comfortable with yourself, you like yourself, and things are not going to change. Suggest that she look up PFLAGG for help in dealing with HER problem. Good luck
Get a job, get an apartment, and get away from momma--unless you seem to honestly feel she is right. Then you need to decide. Essentially, it is either her way (straight) or the highway, so either move out or straighten up and fly right. Decide.
She is going to have to accept you. It will probably take time. If you are planing to move out, it might be better or you will have to let time take it's course. If you are under her roof, she has you in a tight bind and you might have to think of other ways to live your life a little bit less stressfull. There should be no reason why she has gone through your stuff other than curiousity and I would not be all that mad about it. I, personally, would find another place to live.
Been there and done that, your Mother will accept you over time, I was without a home for 3 days, there was a big fight with my parents, but within time things got better, though I had to move out on my own. I guess Mom was very upset because there was no grandchildren, back then in the early '80's there was no real chances of gays having kids and being out. I never lost my love for my parents, either. Best of luck.
Assuming that you still live with her, show some bloody respect for your mother, and your mother's house. And observe the rules she lays down.





You bring a way of life that she finds revolting in to her house and you have the temerity to suggest that she has the problem and not you?





You want to know what to do?





Have the common decency to leave her house and create one of your own where you can righteously set the rules and regulations.





Until then, at least try to act like a grown up and accept that the world doesn't revolve around you and your whims. And keep your behaviour well away from your mother and her house.